Suzy Webster is a very special woman. Mother, daughter, wife, and for many years carer to her mum, Barbara. When I first met Suzy over a decade ago, I was struck by her quiet determination, her love for her family and her wonderful way with words. I can still remember her telling a conference that her parents had moved in with her and her family so that they could have “the dementia adventure together”. So simply put. Yet behind the phrase lay the endless reserves of love and courage that those of us who have followed Suzy and her mum’s story have witnessed over the years.
In 2012, after Barbara developed dementia, she and Suzy’s dad, Gordon, came to live with Suzy and her family in Chepstow. Today, Suzy joins me for an unprecedented third time, and there is a sadness to this episode and a reason why Suzy is joining me once again. For late in 2022, having weathered the dangerous and turbulent years of the pandemic, Barbara died aged 75. Her death has, inevitably, left a massive void in her daughter’s life.
“Who am I now? What do we do without her? I began to grieve more than one mum; I missed holding her hand – as a little girl on the school run, as my go-to person in my young adult life, and her warmth as the constant presence in our lives as her dementia progressed,” Suzy told me. Adding, “Does that make sense?”
It absolutely does, Suzy. And I’m sure it will resonate with many listeners. The death of a mother, a mum, your ma, touches places deep inside us, exposing emotions we didn’t even know existed – at least that’s what I found, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone. In fact, whenever I talk to Suzy I know that I’m with someone who really understands, who knows what I went through with my mum, and I think this is why Suzy has proved such a popular guest. Others feel this too.
Suzy mentioned several organisations. The charity Dementia UK, which supports and trains specialist dementia nurses called Admiral Nurses, which you can find at www.dementiauk.org/ . My Home Life can be found at myhomelife.org.uk/. The wonderful charity Alive! can be found at aliveactivities.org/ and finally Cly Shy Dementia in Wales, which is actually spelt Lleisiau Dementia and can be found on X, formally known as Twitter, where their hashtag is @LleisiauW
Suzy is an inspiration to many. Her kind, calm approach and her personal experience caring with passion for her mum, is what makes her the inspiration that she is.
Very well put, Nikki.
A remarkable podcast from a remarkable individual I feel privileged to call my friend.
The courage, honesty and compassion with which Suzy approached her family’s journey with dementia is inspirational and as Pippa often commented she has so many special qualities which will benefit so many in the future.
This is all so true, Susan. Suzy is a remarkable woman.